Hello folks. This is a public service announcement. Remember to head on over to onecare.live.com and check your computer for the conficker worm before April 1. That is all. Please carry on.
Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Attack of the Giant Worms!" only on Ranting-TV…
At the Ranting-TV News Network (RTNN) we aim to bring you timely information from the only source that matters. Me. We are your window to the world, your tunnel of love, and your door to mysteries and delights.
Every day, we bring you soft news and opinions from around the globe, and you can be sure that we "attempt" to wash our hands each time we visit the washroom. That's our commitment to you. And you can count on it.
Ranting-TV provides only wholesome family programming. Our primetime shows like the "Fartly and Lady Hour", "All about Bacon", "Simpson" repeats, and "Ugly Rex Murphy is Drunk and Angry" are all quality viewing events that we are sure you will enjoy.
Ranting-TV News Corporation(TM) and RTNN(TM) are subsidiaries of Satan Industries(R). All souls working for RTNN are property of the Dark Lord of Evil.
I'm just a simple country reporter with a heart of gold and a deep passion for the truth. I deliver it to you, the viewer, in a timely and easy-to-read way with no fuss and simple clean-up.