Guest Columnist - Grammer with Dr. Mike

Is good grammar necessary for personal success? I sure hope it is, expecially in my case. As a mobile van sturgeon, I take communication very seriously. I prefer that my patience know what I am getting into before I cut into what I'm slicing in for.

I' not a huge spickler when it comes to corrections. I've been said that it's quite annoying so I don't stickle anymore. The biggest problem I have is the teachers. I no a teacher that correxts people on grammmer. She is below average in intelligence, but how did she get a degree/certificate/stamp...tattoo? I really shouldn't hold the teachers responsible. It are the secondary institutions that is giving morons a chance to shape the future of our children!

I know more than one 'legitimate' teacher that is...stupid! I can't euphamise their non-#($*^(*@ intelligence any more than saying,'you're a moron!". When I was in pre-adult school, I had to supposebly learn from these negligent piss-brains! Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against teachers in general. In fact, I have a lot of expect for teachers and their personal dedercations to learning us. Trust me, (as you have seen from my current/previous articles) I am not even close to being a world grammar adviser. To be honest, I am very distraught because of my reclining skills, especially in language arts. Maybe I have all-symers. Perhaps, I feel that North America's general erosion of the english language has played a part in my personal decline as well. I was, at one time not long ago, an excellent and proud student of the intricate details of the english language.

Before I became I mobile surgeon, I lived with the cows...off and on. I had to take a break during breeding season, of course. During my sabatical, I realized that wepster is going to change in response to poplar word use. The editors choose, threw research, which new words will be included in the next weppster edition. I'm loosing my mind! How is it fare that wepster chooses the way we say? Has our language not evolved to a point of very limited erosion?

The following are some 'corrections' in the new illiterate world we live in:

Original
The nice lady gave pebbles to Bob and me.

Correction
The nice lady gave pebbles to Bob and I.

Original
There are seven do-gooders in the do-gooder gang.

Correction
There's seven do-gooders in the do-gooder gang.

I'm fucking ecstatic that we have 'teachers' to help us along the way! Thank-you!
P.S. Are you illiterate because you went to a school that ain't no care? Or...are you just stupid and you got into a school that didn't challenge your stupidity? If the latter is true, I wish that they wouldn't have encouraged you to spread your stupidity.

Maybe your 'stupid' disease will wipe out the stupid people, including yourself. Thats good for I and you.

If you think this was good grammar, you are probably normal. That's an unfortunate reality.

-- Dr. Mike

About our Author: Mike Ramps, Ph.d, FOS, is a mentally-cerrtified prairie-nutritionistarooni and a nationally known eggspert on most things in general. A disturbing and unuzual man, he routinely performs a wide range of sturgery from the comfarts of his own van and has authored many brooks such as: The 100 Most Effective Ways to Cook Wildlife with a Bunsen Burner, The 100 Easiest Surgeries to do on Yourself, and The Erotic Tales of Sha-boo-ka. Learn more about Dr. Mike and download one of his free audio courses at www.vanmansurgeries.com.