Guest Columnist - Fast Food Ads with Dr. Mike

It seems that advertising companies think you'll buy their client's products by stupefying its target audience. Take the main character of the A&W commercials. He seems like an average family man; an easy-going fast-food manager, but very serious about setting a good example of customer service. He's proud of the food choices that A&W offers his community and it looks like he's sampled more than his share, for quality-control purposes I'm sure.

He cares about his customers to a point of ridiculousness, though. He's not just serving you a burger, but he's listening to your private conversations and analyzing your inner most thoughts. I'm not sure, but I'm guessing he's picturing you (and your family) naked, as well.

The most amazing advertising strategy, though, is the portrayal of A&W customers being simple-minded. They are completely oblivious to the manager's clever and sarcastic wit. In contrast to A&W's customers, the manager appears very intelligent. I guess that's why he's moved all the way up to management of a fast-food joint before the age of 60!

Another stupid advertisement that comes to mind is the egg-juggling McDonalds commercial. The moronic customers are all happy and excited that these kids are juggling eggs. I have a strange feeling that most people would be more interested in actually getting their breakfast in a timely manner. Because of the stupid juggling stint, there are three employees doing the job of one!

The manager tells them that he doesn't know what they are doing, but that they should “keep it up”! He then comes back to give the kids a huge thumbs-up! I have a sneaking suspicion that this is more of an advertisement to entice people to work at McDonalds than to buy a breakfast meal. Why? If you work at McDonalds:

1. The customers don't get angry at you, even when they have to wait extra long for their meals do to your inefficiency.

2. You can do whatever you want, i.e. juggling eggs, without getting questioned or hassled by management.

3. You can move up to management, even if you are a goofy and spineless moron!

-- Dr. Mike

About our Author: Mike Ramps, Ph.d, FOS, is a mentally-certified prairie-nutritionist and a nationally known expert on most things in general. A disturbing and unusual man, he routinely performs a wide range of surgery from the comforts of his own van and has authored many books such as: The 100 Most Effective Ways to Cook Wildlife with a Bunsen Burner, The 100 Easiest Surgeries to do on Yourself, and The Erotic Tales of Sha-boo-ka in Whoopieland. Learn more about Dr. Mike and download one of his free audio courses from his website.