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From the Morning Desk - Blagorific Book Deal

Good morning, viewer. Sitting at my desk, enjoying my $10 coffee, and what do I see in the news? Rod Blagojevich is writing a book exposing the dark side of politics. Well, this guy should know all about that stuff, right? If my coffee wasn't so perfectly flavorful and justifiably expensive, I would have spit it out all over Cratchit's incompetent face.

Today, there’s a distinct pattern that people like this follow. And remember, there’s a lesson here kids. Parents really should be educating their children on how the real world works, instead of all that “hard work” bullshit.

1. If you currently have a cool hair-do and/or cool name, lose it. You won’t need it.

2. Obtain a small amount of authority; garbage man won’t do, unless you are head of sanitation.

3. Do something so stupid, that the media won’t leave you alone. Visit youtube and type “dumb things” for some great ideas.

4. Make a big stink about the whole thing. Really let somebody HAVE IT, in public. Yell at the media! Blame everybody around you! Go, go go!

5. Get a book deal.

6. Take six-figure check, cash it at bank. Enjoy life, and maybe write a book about the whole experience.

And that’s really all there it to it. You know, maybe it’s time to hear the “Citigroup Story”, or the “Tales of AIG”. Then the public can go out, buy the books, and recapitalize the banking industry. Sometimes, my ideas are so blagorific that I scare myself!

Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Rod Blagojevich, The Movie" only on Ranting-TV…