Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Creepy Killer Robot Enjoys Rubix Cube!

The RuBot II is the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I thought it was going to to rip the kid's arms off. It's like something right out of my nightmares. Truly disturbing. Yeah, who needs friends when you have this monstrosity sitting in the corner of your room at night?



Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Terminator 5 - Monopoly Edition" only on Ranting-TV…

Series on Pigs - Three Little Pigs

RTNN is pleased to continue its week-long series all about pigs! Enjoy. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "That Bad Movie with the Chick with the Pig Nose" only on Ranting-TV…

Breaking News - Northern Trust Healthy?

The arrogant folks at Northern Trust feel that they are being unfairly treated. Despite the fact that they announced plans to cut 450 jobs in 2009, they still managed to fly a bunch of employees and customers for a big party (1999 dot-com style), with taxpayer money. Now they are claiming that they don't need the government money, in the first place.

I see, they take the money. Spend part of it. Then they turn around and say that they didn't really need it. Basically telling the taxpayers and government to fuck off. Something doesn't smell right.

This kind of bullshit really makes my blood boil. Ok, then give the money back, big shots. And do it this fucking week.

From the Morning Desk - Upgrade!

I’m just sitting down at my PC, with my $10 coffee, this morning. Johnny wiped and reloaded his hard disk on his PC yesterday. Well, the IT department did it, I just watched. You know for somebody with a positronic brain, I seem to know little about computers. Anyway, like a fine coffee, a freshly re-installed computer always gives me an optimistic feeling.

You find yourself saying things like “this time, I’m not going to install a bunch of crap all over the place”. It’s going to be different. The funny thing is, a year later, it’s slow again.

Why not store everything in my robot brain, and then download (or is it upload) it back to my PC? Let’s see, my brain is like 30 years old. It still uses punch-cards. The external interface was retrofitted in 1992 (needs some jiggling to work), requires a telnet connection to a DOS host, and uses an 81-pin serial connector. 81-pins? You don’t just head down to the radio shack for THAT connector. And of course, it uses odd parity which explains my humor.

And please, stop telling me to “upgrade” my fucking brain, whatever that means. Do you have ANY idea how dangerous and complicated brain surgery becomes when you introduce 30-year old electronics into the mix? You need to be a computer scientist and a brain surgeon. That’s just reckless.

So for now, I’ll just do things the way the rest of you do it. Store stuff on my PC, my Blackberry and online. Computing life is good again!

Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Computer Shamwow Infomercials" only on Ranting-TV…