LifeStyle - Famous White Rappers

Even my older parents know who Eminem is, but what about other famous white rappers throughout history? RTNN is please to present you with a list of famous white rappers. Enjoy.

Do any of the following names ring a bell?

Eminem, House of Pain, Beastie Boys, Kid Rock, Limp Bizkit, Vanilla Ice, Slug (Atmosphere), Weird Al? Yup, he's pretty good, too.

Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "White Men Can't Jump or Dance" only on Ranting-TV…

Entertainment - DJ Hero Come to Me

Playing lead guitar for thousands of screaming fans is every little boy's dream, but for many the idea of spinning records for a large crowd is equally rewarding. Johnny did some DJing back in college, when chart toppers like "Short D*ck Man" and "Creep" by TLC were all the rage. I didn't use turn tables; instead, I had a couple of Denon CD Pro Mixers. I hope that doesn't date me.

Anyway, I have been looking forward to the DJ Hero game for a long time. As much as I enjoy playing rock songs in Guitar Hero and Rock Band, the idea of being able to DJ, scratch and mix has a lot of appeal to me. I presume that some of my childhood heros are going to make an appearance.

The CEO of Activision, Bobby Kotick, confirmed that the game will be available some time this year. Let's hope he's right. Projects of this size have a way of getting pushed back. But I think Activision realizes that if they are going to move on this, it has to be quick.

My positronic brain has confirmed that DJ Hero will be the biggest selling game title ever. Bigger than Grand Theft Auto and Halo. In fact, it's going to be a monstrously huge seller! And you can bet your ass that I'll be getting mine, as soon as it hits the shelves.

Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Pump up the Volume -- Now With More Christian Slater Scenes!" only on Ranting-TV…

Educational Video Training - Chinese

The Glorious Strategist of RTNN is planning to expand into China next year and has encouraged all of us to learn Chinese. Johnny only speaks American right now, so it's been a tough go. The following educational video will not help you learn anything.



Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "24 Hour Ping Pong" only on Ranting-TV…

From the Morning Desk - Bob Cratchit?!

Good morning folks. I receive many letters from viewers just like you and I feel it's part of my job to answer the questions that you may have. This week I’m getting a lot of questions about Robert Cratchit (my assistant). Being the ace reporter and journalist that I am, I’m here to answer them for you. Just part of RTNN’s commitment to the truth.

Q: Who is Bob Cratchit?

A: Bob is my assistant and constant pain in my ass (I’m just kidding). He knows a place where they make good coffee.

Q: What are Bob’s hobbies?

A: Oh, I don’t know. He seems to really like filing papers. And he’s wearing a helmet around the office since returning from the hospital, so I can only assume that he started playing some sort of contact sport.

Q: Why aren’t you more sensitive to Bob’s problems?

A: My mission, besides being an ace reporter, is to help Bob with his problems. He’s scared of flying. He wanted to know if he could use the company CD player to listen to his fear of flying audio CD’s, after work. No way. I said.

“Bob, I’m going to help you get over your fears the same way that killer clown in the park helped me! By having to DEAL WITH IT!”

“Sir, I just… need access to the… CD player… and…”

“Nonsense! I need you to fact check a story that I’m doing on a woman with eight kids. She claims that two of them look like Elvis. This could be a big story. I’ve booked the plane trip already.”

And I’ll continue to send him on trips, over and over until his fears go away. How can you say that I’m not sensitive to Bob’s mental illness?

Q: Does Bob ever threaten to quit?

A: It’s wonderful for Bob to be surrounded by the best people in the businesses. It’s an honour to work for me. If he quit, who is going to get my coffee in the morning? If I don’t have my coffee I can’t write. If I can’t write, you the viewer suffers. You will be confused by the world, unable to differentiate fact from fiction. General chaos ensues.

Bob, you sonofabitch, I know that last question was from you! Just for that, I’m docking half a days pay. And you can be sure that on Christmas eve, you will be working ALL day! Ha Ha Ha, just messing around with you buddy, chump, friend… but not about the half-day’s pay.

Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Airplaney II - Down We Go!" only on Ranting-TV…