Johnny Presents - EB Oddball

Johnny Presents Egregious Beats playing their latest teaser called "OddBall". EB's album will be debuting Summer 2010.

From the Desk of the CEO - Swear Jar Policy

I just received a letter from the CEO and Glorious Strategist of this network, Richard Z. Pryke. Apparently, we now have a swear jar in the lobby of our building. Good f***king grief, Charlie Brown. Anyway, enjoy the following video presentation, viewers.



We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "The Hill Billy Parade" only on Ranting-TV…

This Just In - GTA4 Bloopers!

RTNN is pleased to present you, the viewer, GTA4 clips now with more gratuitous, senseless, low-brow violence and mayhem. In the following video presentation, you will witness many silly things found in the Grant Theft Auto 4 video game. GTA4 is a favorite of Johnny's, so enjoy.



Hopefully, we will see more of Nico Bellic and his crazy cousin Roman! But for now we return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Killer Video Games III - The Pointy Edges" only on Ranting-TV…

Facts and Trivia - GM

Since GM is making headlines again with this Chapter 11 news, I thought I'd share some facts (trivia) about the struggling car company that you may not know.

1. GM isn't the largest car company, by far. It has 252,000 employees worldwide. Volkswagen has 373,400 employees, Renault/Nissan has 316,100, Toyota has 316,100, and Daimler has 272,300 employees.

2. In 2006, GM was spending close to $17 million dollars on Viagra. Is that really considered health care?

3. In 2008, GM cut its total North American work force 11.5 percent to 123,000.

4. GM workers earn $75 an hour in wages and benefits - almost triple the earnings of the average private sector worker.

5. The UAW-Ford Agreement pictured above weights around 22 lbs. I bet you think it's full of efficiency... right?

We now return you to your Sunday Afternoon Movie… "The Car!" only on Ranting-TV…

LifeStyle Section - Learn about the 1980's

RTNN is pleased to present the following educational video. Our younger viewers probably do not remember the 1980's, so it's important to present a fair and accurate view of what life was like long, long ago.

The fact is that in the 1980's everybody consumed copious amounts of cocaine. Scientists and researchers now know that people got a lot more work done back then. Here's an example of how people use to talk.



To learn more about this topic, please visit the Wikipedia entry on People in the 1980's. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Old NHL Hockey Game Re-Runs from 1982" only on Ranting-TV…

From the Morning Desk - Protesters!

Good morning, viewer. From my corner office, high up on Mt. Olympus, it's easy to forget that the crowd of protesters that gather in front of our offices, daily, aren’t ants. Each day, they are out there protesting RTNN’s new global expansion plans deep in the tropical rain forest of Southeast Asian. Anyway, I’m not sure why we (RTNN Corporation) are there, but I can only assume that it’s to bring the native folks great new TV programs like “Fartly and Greg”, “King of Fartly”, and “The Hour with George Fartleyopolous”. Let me make it clear to you, dear viewer, that protesting is the lowest form of communication, somewhere between construction worker cat calls and half-drunk “woo-who’s!” while half your torso hangs outside a limousine. And holding a sign only makes you look retarded.

"But, Johnny, protesting is important AND effective! We are making a difference! We get results!"

No you don’t. In the old days, protesting use to work because we had no way to contain or restrict you. In the old days, we had a name for large groups of outraged people. They were called mobs. And they didn’t carry signs, instead; pitchforks had a much larger impression. Today, when you have a group of wannabe hippies, part-time university students, and trendy-fake-asshats protesting, it’s a bake sale. Nobody notices.

"But, Johnny, we have the media and Internet on our side!"

Oh really? Listen, nobody cares about you or your shitty cause. Besides there are millions of blogs (but only one RTNN) and the thousands channels of local TV, who really sits up and takes notice? There’s no impact. Your message is lost.

When RTNN builds new headquarters, you can be sure that we will fence off a really nice part of the swamp so protesters can have a place to express their views. Watch out for the crocodiles.

Thanks for tuning in folks! This is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Too Many Ostriches" only on Ranting-TV…