Scrabble - A Smart Person Game

Mrs. BTO and I are just heading out to play a little scrabble with our two friends, Castle Stomp and Dance Simply. I think they are hippies or something with names like that. In case of impending global catasphrophe and we lose power, you can be sure that Scrabble will still work. So I want to get good now.

Always thinking.

This is ace reporter Johnny signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… “Fartly and Lady see France” only on Ranting-TV…

Worst Week since November 2008

Absolutely a horrid week in the markets. It wasn't suppose to be so bad, but when Geitner pulled a P...P...Paulson moment everything went to hell. So here we sit, worst week since November. I haven't lost confidence, in fact I'm more convinced that the spring keeps getting tighter and tigher. I'm not sure if it's going to be Tuesday or Wednesday when we rip higher, but this funk may last a little while longer.

This week oil shit the bed. Today, we had a nice little $3 rally. What can I say. It makes sense as we have an abundance of oil and the world economy keeps slowing down. It makes sense... but damn, how low will it go? I would NOT short crude under ANY circumstances at these levels, but being long could be painful as we keep trading in a range. All bad news for commodity-rich countries.

Everybody is now aware that commercial real estate is screwed. I don't really know where that is going, but it's likely that we may see several bankruptcies in that industry.

It could be all those stupid-ass/creepy Vermont teddybear commercials playing on CNBC for Valentines Day that's pissing off the traders. Well, no matter... next week is a new week.

Disclosure: Long DXO, Short Vermont Teddy Bear Commercials/Valentines Day Bullshit

Well folks, thanks for tuning in, that’s all for now. We now return you to the Friday Night Movie… “Murderous Monkey 2 - Apes a Killin'” only on Ranting-TV…

Breaking News - Canadian Home Sales Fall 41%

Report on Business just reported that sales of existing Canadian homes fell to the lowest level since the mid-1990s last month, with activity dropping by 41 per cent in January from a year ago.

Why is nobody talking about how this affects the banks? That's right folks, our Canadian banks are going to have BIG problems, as it appears that we are only at the start of this mess. These clowns have been lending massive amounts of money out for overpriced houses in Canada. And if you think American CEO's are clueless, you are about to see a whole NEW level of stupidity. We've had the opportunity to see what was going on in the states for christsake! We got a preview and yet nothing was done. The Canadian government, the Canadian people and the banks all played their part.

My positronic-brain warned me about the Canadian housing market melting down late 2007. It's incredible that people refuse to see the light (even now). Garth Turner has been warning about this for a long time now. He's doing tours, publishing books and still people think he's wrong. They couldn't be further from the truth.

Canada is going to go through the worst recession since the 1980's. That's a fact. I assure you, if haven't changed your spending habits by now life is going to get rough for you.

I've sold the Ferrari and bought a more-reliable daily-driver Porsche, bought a backup power generator for the Xbox 360 and bigscreen TV and started recording my own new episodes of "House" with my camcorder... just in case the end of the world hits.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… “When Houses Attack Owners” only on Ranting-TV…

Oscar's Big Adventure

While I have to say, he's no Tom Hanks, it's apparent that this little guy is going to have a future in show biz. I'm sure Mrs. BTO will approve this video.

Well folks, thanks for tuning into Oscar's adventure. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… “When Little Dogs Attack” only on Ranting-TV…

From the Morning Desk – All about Me.

Welcome viewer. From where I sit (drinking my $10 coffee every morning), it’s important to reflect on the fact that not everybody out there is rich, good-looking and a legendary news anchor and columnist at a prominent news network. That’s right, I’m talking about the little guy, the underdog, and you, the viewers.

As I'm sure you can appreciate, I receive thousands of letters each week from loyal fans. And although I do have the time and energy to answer each one personally, I simply don’t, on principle. Many of you have disorders and I simply will not be part of your plan to cause harm to others (or myself).

However, I will grant you a peek into my life. I call this piece… “All about Me.” Here are a few common questions that I am asked on a regular basis.

Q: In your years of reporting, what was the single greatest event that changed your life?

A: During the Terry Schiavo trial (you know, the one where that guy named Terry was arrested for wanting to take his own life), we all became deeply involved on a very personal level. It was on TV and it was front-and-center on everybody’s mind. Anyway, I just returned from lunch and my assistant comes running into my marble-walled office. She slipped on the marble-floored floor and banged her head pretty badly. Tragic event. We pulled the plug that day. And I will never forget how good my lunch was… turkey roll.

Q: It has been suggested that you have a robot brain. Is this true?

A: Yes. I have a positronic super-computer 4000 brain.  Superior to Data’s on Star Trek (or Star Wars)... something like that.

Q: As a robot, do you have feelings?

A: I’m not a robot. It’s just my brain. Of course I have feelings. I’m flesh-and-blood and a little antifreeze to prevent my brain from shutting down in the cold. In fact, I have a penis… so I have all the human emotions that a man can feel.  Lust and Anger.

Q: Are you married, because I want to marry you!

A: I’m sorry but Johnny Newsmaker is already married to the best gal in the world!  The Beautiful and Talented One (Mrs. BTO) completes Johnny, and dresses him and feeds him because the news doesn’t stop, and dammit, you the viewer deserve to know who's trying to make a quick buck off you!

Well folks, thanks for tuning in, that’s all for now. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… “Ron Paul Selling Gold on EBay Infomercial” only on Ranting-TV…