I figured that my good friend, Nerdy Marlin would really enjoy this article. Some coo-coo hard-line organization in India, known for its opposition to "corrupting" Western food imports (didn't know Heinz Ketchup was such a threat), is introducing a cow urine drink. That’s right. Cow piss!Well, these guys win Johnny’s “You are my Stupid Moron of the Day” Award, due to your backward anti-western stance, but mostly for the piss-drinking. The award is actually a piece of dried cow shit. How appropriate.
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Folks, this is Johnny Newsmaker signing off. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "Holy Cow, I Can't Believe it's Not Butter!" only on Ranting-TV…
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Dear Johnny,
ReplyDeleteWith all the food fads that have come and gone it was inevitable that the flavour of the day would eventually taste like piss.
It's nothing new, from biblical sieges to desert wanderers the imbibing of urine has been the drink of last resort. Even the space station crew drinks it, their own, distilled, of course. Cow urine, compared to some of the swill that's passed off as beer may even taste better. To coin a phrase "every bladder has a silver lining", may prove to be a proverbial cash cow for our ag industry and the solution to our own surplus of cow piss . As tastes mature the introduction of horse piss, hog piss, chicken piss, etc. could create a whole new class of connoisseurs, the possibilities are staggering (infinite if one considers unique blends). And the spin-offs, an endless stream of piss flavoured products from energy drinks to ice cream, salad dressing to steak sauce, toothpaste to cologne and even the "Snow Cone" might see a revival.
India with a billion consumers is a market you don't shake yer stick at (unless it's to get the last drop). Who knows, a little cow piss in the Ketchup might help to mollify that anti-western sentiment, keep those trade barriers down and not leave such a bad taste in your mouth after all?
Nerdy Marlin