Guest Columnist - Dr. Mike's Surgery in a Jar

-- Advertisement

"Surgery in a Jar!" - A brand new product from Dr. Mike Ramps, FOS

Attention DIYers! Attention people without health insurance! Save money! Save your life!

Do you need surgery? Don't put yourself on the waiting list. Now you're at the top of the list all the time! It's your list 'cause you're the surgeon!

Perform all kinds of surgery from simple mole removal to cardiac by-pass! Why wait for a so-called "expert" when you can save your own life all by yourself!

"Surgery in a Jar!" contains step-by-step instructions and all the tools you need to perform life-saving procedures on your children, spouse, grandparents, siblings, and even yourself!

This special jar is pretty big! Open it up and find a scalpel, gauss, iodine, cough syrup, rubber gloves, and much more! Dig in and you'll even find stain-resistant (laminated) instructions for every surgery you can think of performing.

If you order within the next couple weeks or so, we'll double the offer! Receive TWO jars for the price of ONE! If you order even sooner than a couple weeks or so, you'll receive a complimentary urinary catheter!

“I used Surgery in a Jar! to perform a gastric bypass on my wife just yesterday! When I didn't think I knew what I was doing, I just looked at the instructions. I have Surgery in a Jar! to thank for my new career path! I've decided to become a mobile van surgeon just like Dr. Mike!”
-- B. Jones

“I'm embarrassed to say that I was a skeptic. After receiving a free jar full of medical supplies (my mom got one free or something) I thought it would just take up space in my bachelor pad. Just this passed week, after my internet physician diagnosed me with kidney failure, I was devastated because I have no health insurance. I decided, what the hell! Just 5 minutes ago I removed my own kidneys...but not without the help of Surgery in a Jar! I'm so excited for the future!”
-- J. Dyinsoon

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming… "ER" only on Ranting-TV…

About our Author: Mike Ramps, Ph.d, FOS, is a mentally-certified prairie-nutritionist and a nationally known expert on most things in general. A disturbing and unusual man, he routinely performs a wide range of surgery from the comforts of his own van and has authored many books such as: The 100 Most Effective Ways to Cook Wildlife with a Bunsen Burner, The 100 Easiest Surgeries to do on Yourself, and The Erotic Tales of Sha-boo-ka in Boobieland. Learn more about Dr. Mike and download one of his free audio courses from his website.